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SNL's 10 Most Awkward Moments ▪ I'm Not That Tolerant, I Promise! ▪ Right-Wing New Yorkers ▪ 9/11 Forever ▪ Bomb Iran Yesterday!
Rudy Giuliani
doesn't have the funds to pay his staff anymore, but figures working for "America's Mayor" is compensation enough. Right, guys? ...Guys?
| Networks: Sex: Relationship Status: Interested In: Birthday: Hometown: Political Views: |
GOP Presidential Primary Republican Pro-Choice Male (Rare Species) Married³ 9/11 57 B.N. (Before 9/11) New York City 9/11 |
| Personal Info | |
| Activities: | Travelling across the country spreading my uplifting message of the country's imminent destruction at the hands of terrorists as official U.S. Roving Ambassador of 9/11; answering cell phone calls in the middle of speeches |
| Interests: | Trying to make up for my pro-choice views in the eyes of right-wing voters by pretty much promising I'll bomb Iran as soon as I take my hand off the Bible I'm sworn in on. |
| Favorite Music | Toby Keith's "The Angry American" |
| Favorite Movies: | Rambo, The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Rendition (haven’t seen it yet, but I like the title!) |
| Favorite TV Shows: | 24, Saturday Night Live |
| Favorite Books: | "Leadership," by me. Buy it. Trust me, I'm one wise and inspirational bastard. |
| About Me: | I want the leaders of the Religious Right to know: I'm pro-family. My family isn't particularly pro-me, but I think that's because I've been spending most of my time over these last few years being America's Mayor and one of the most famous human beings on Earth. Being revered on a global scale doesn't leave much time for playing catch. |
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John McCain wrote |
Looks like I’m polling ahead of you in Florida by about 10 points. Isn’t winning that state your very last-ditch chance at staying in the race? Man, that must suck for you.  |
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Pat Robertson wrote |
Had my year-end retreat with God the other week. He says hi, and also to start running in primaries so that you might have a chance at winning one. |
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Mike Huckabee wrote |
If I were a less godly man, I would mention how I totally PWNED you in NH despite having half your ad budget. Oh, whoops, I TOTALLY JUST DID. |
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Ted Olson wrote |
Maybe you should try dressing in drag again? |
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Ralph Reed wrote |
Dude. I can’t believe you lost to Ron Paul. Twice. |